The “Perfect Perfect Birth”
Last week our home invited a couple kids over for the evening, so their parents could get a much needed break. My daughter was enthralled with the process of planning the perfect playdate. She said that she wanted to plan the “perfect perfect party”. She composed a song to sing to them upon their arrival. She arranged the toys in the basement so we could have a dance party. She was telling her brothers exactly what they were supposed to do when the friends arrived. Every detail was attended to.It would have been the “perfect perfect party” if it had been for another 6 year old girl who loved music and dancing. Unfortunately, our guests were a 3 year old boy and a 1 year old girl. Both who had interests and abilities different from my daughter. I tried to let her know that her plans probably wouldn’t work, because it wasn’t the best fit for our guests. There was some disappointment and frustration, but once our guests arrived that left and was replaced with the excitement of someone new to play with and care for.
As a doula, I love the chance to help clients achieve what they consider is their “perfect perfect birth”. Unlike my daughter though, I am aware that what might be the perfect birth for me might not be the perfect birth for my client. It is my job to listen to their birth goals and provide them with information and support to help them achieve these goals. In fact, the benefits of doula support are many, but having a doula doesn’t always guarantee that you will have the perfect birth either.
Babies have their own ideas of how they want to be born. Care providers and birthing locations also have their own ideas of what is a perfect birth. As doulas, we have to be flexible and know the various paths of labor and birth. We share this knowledge with our clients so they can choose which path they can take if a detour is needed. The creation of a birth plan and goals is helpful in getting everyone on the same page of the couples’ goals.
Does this mean that birth never goes to plan? Not necessarily. I will say though that the most positive birth experiences are when parents are well informed about their options along the way, and able to feel like they made the right choices for them and their baby. As a doula, that is all I can ask for, and for me that is a “perfect perfect birth”.
Contact Leah at Gracious Hands Doula Services today
to discuss how she can help you plan for your birthing needs.