Skip to main content

The “Perfect Perfect Birth”


The “Perfect Perfect Birth”
              Last week our home invited a couple kids over for the evening, so their parents could get a much needed break.  My daughter was enthralled with the process of planning the perfect playdate.  She said that she wanted to plan the “perfect perfect party”.  She composed a song to sing to them upon their arrival. She arranged the toys in the basement so we could have a dance party. She was telling her brothers exactly what they were supposed to do when the friends arrived.  Every detail was attended to.
              It would have been the “perfect perfect party” if it had been for another 6 year old girl who loved music and dancing.  Unfortunately, our guests were a 3 year old boy and a 1 year old girl.  Both who had interests and abilities different from my daughter.  I tried to let her know that her plans probably wouldn’t work, because it wasn’t the best fit for our guests.  There was some disappointment and frustration, but once our guests arrived that left and was replaced with the excitement of someone new to play with and care for.

              As a doula, I love the chance to help clients achieve what they consider is their “perfect perfect birth”.  Unlike my daughter though, I am aware that what might be the perfect birth for me might not be the perfect birth for my client.  It is my job to listen to their birth goals and provide them with information and support to help them achieve these goals.  In fact, the benefits of doula support are many, but having a doula doesn’t always guarantee that you will have the perfect birth either. 
              Babies have their own ideas of how they want to be born.  Care providers and birthing locations also have their own ideas of what is a perfect birth.  As doulas, we have to be flexible and know the various paths of labor and birth.  We share this knowledge with our clients so they can choose which path they can take if a detour is needed.  The creation of a birth plan and goals is helpful in getting everyone on the same page of the couples’ goals.

              Does this mean that birth never goes to plan? Not necessarily.  I will say though that the most positive birth experiences are when parents are well informed about their options along the way, and able to feel like they made the right choices for them and their baby.  As a doula, that is all I can ask for, and for me that is a “perfect perfect birth”.

 Contact Leah at Gracious Hands Doula Services today
to discuss how she can help you plan for your birthing needs.
 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Three reasons why I won’t ask to hold your baby; and two reasons why I will

Support is more than just holding the baby


Babies are cute.
There is no getting around the fact that their softness, new baby smell, soft fuzzy heads, sleepy coziness calls out to everyone around them.It creates a desire to protect, hold, and cuddle that is definitely hard to ignore.Just introduce a new baby to a group of adults or children and soon the requests to hold and touch the baby come forth.Even when the baby is fussy, people are quick to offer to take baby out of mom’s arms in their offer to provide relief for mom.

But, you will notice that I am not one of those people.
I won’t ask to hold your baby.
When I am explaining my role as a doula, I often get one of two comments.The first usually comes from the older generations exclaiming how they wished there were doulas available for them when they had their babies.The other comment I get is how nice it would be to hold babies all the time.They are often surprised to hear that I actually get to hold very few babies.
Don’t get me wron…

I’m not every doula….and that is ok

I’m not every doula….and that is ok
The year of 2017 has definitely been one of growth for me.I successfully completed my Breastfeeding Educator certification, recertified as a DONA birth doula, and currently am working to become a certified Childbirth Educator.It feels like I'm wearing a lot of hats.I sometimes need to remind myself that I am not every doula, and that is ok. I offer many services, but not everything. I am ok with that.
Sometimes it is in the things that I am not, that strengthens those that I am.Let me give some examples.

Birth photographer I bring a basic digital camera with me to births, but only bring it out at the request of my clients. I take a few pictures, but would rather focus on being present with the client and preserving the space around this precious event and offering the emotional physical support needed in the moment.
Medical care provider Some doulas are in training to be a nurse, midwife assistant, midwife, or future doctor.I have never felt inclined t…

I have a dream...

On a social media page with fellow doulas, the question was asked "What would be one thing that you wish you could change about birth or postpartum in your area of the world".

Just one thing?  My immediate thought went to providing wireless monitors for all birthing facilities.  Restriction of movement during labor prevents baby's normal progression towards birth and limits comfort measures for the mother as well.

But the question got me thinking about what I really would like to see happen here in Indiana, in Tippecanoe County, Lafayette, and my neighborhood.

The Big picture?

I wish that pregnancy, birth and postpartum was something that was celebrated and supported.  I wish it wasn't treated as an illness that needs to be treated and recovered from as soon as possible.  I wish the family dynamic was respected and supported.  Paid leave allowing for time for bonding, establishment of secure breastfeeding, recovery of birth, adjustment to parenthood; all without stress o…