Ask the Doula

As a doula I am often speaking with my clients about the importance of the Three Rs in Labor.   The terms coined by Penny Simkin refer to Relaxation, Rhythm, and Ritual as the essences of coping in labor in place of Fear, Tension, and Pain.   As our society is in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, I have found myself turning to these techniques in my own life as a way to cope during this time of uncertainty.   I wanted to share these thoughts in hopes that like with birth, we can embrace the uncertainty one day/contraction at a time until the birth of healing arrives for our nation. Relaxation Uncertainty can make even the calmest person feel some stress.   The key to relaxation is understanding what is and isn’t in your control.   The simplest thing you have control over is your body and mind.   Check in with yourself.   Are you feeling tense in your body?   Are your thoughts racing?   Take time to acknowledge these feelings and ...

The Coloring of Motherhood By Leah Garner We recognize the outline. The actions and movements seem familiar. Seen from afar, or under a microscope of scrutiny. The emotions find empathy inside us, but perhaps in a different setting. A glimmer of something we dreamt, but we cannot quite touch in our waking moments. And then we cross over into our own motherhood. G oing from the world of instruction and paint by number, into an expansive palette of colors with the brushes in our hands. We think back on the Masters we admired and try to follow their strokes. Our hands hesitate to make a mark like those criticized for their art. A nd yet… W ith each stroke we find the colors dry different than when first applied. Sometimes the picture gets more complicated the harder that we try. Taking a step back helps us see a bigger picture; appreciate the unique colors for what they are. W e see our child. And our children hold brushes too, Pai...

Have you ever seen an OR room with the lights turned off?   Everything put away in its place?   All is clean and sterile?   All is quiet?    Empty…? I must confess that in my own experience I had never seen it happen.   I am sure it is the case; an ordinary occurrence for the staff of the hospitals.   But for me, my view of an OR has been quite different.   When I visualize an OR, it is bright, filled with people, lots of noises, and it is very cold.   You often see more of the ceiling than you do of the floor, or even the surrounding walls.   The color of blue scrubs and screens fill one’s view. And yet…there was the night the OR went dark. It was a late night supporting a client that needed baby delivered in a hurry.   Everyone was prepped, mom was taken in, baby made her arrival, and mom slowly rejoined the conscious world as she felt her baby on her chest. I notice over my shoulder that staff were finishing u...

What does the doula do on her day off?  She becomes a student!  My quest or mission to be the best doula I can be for my clients, calls me to ever looking for ways to increase my understanding of birth and how to support the mother and family. I wanted to share with you my latest discovery because it is to important to keep to myself.  The Yes to Birth Experience is a collection of interviews with leaders in the birth world about a variety of topics for the expectant mother, partner, care provider, doula, or anyone who is wanting to learn more about birth.  You can sign up to receive these daily interviews in your email mailbox.  Click on this link to get signed up!  Yes to Birth Experience . Discover how to have a healthier, less painful, empowering, satisfying pregnancy & birth! I am only three days in, but am already inspired to share this great information with my current and future clients.  Past clients too, for that matter! Topics covere...

As a new mother... or even a veteran mother you sometimes find yourselves feeling hungry at random times of the day.  For myself 10 o'clock in the morning is the time when I realize that while I did drink my coffee that morning, the toddler stole my breakfast and I never got anything else during the hustle and bustle of the morning.  Post Toddler Theft Count Chocula Cereal   This in between time where breakfast no longer sounds appealing but lunch seems too far away, I find myself glancing through the pantry for a suitable snack to tide me over. While I am reading some great books about healthy food options for pregnancy and postpartum, today I was looking for something purely comfort food based that would take little effort and time. As a result, I present to you Microwave Macaroni N Cheese ! The ingredients are pretty simple.  Macaroni noodles, water, milk, cheese, salt, and pepper Find your largest mug that is microwave safe. Inside add 1...

Support is more than just holding the baby Babies are cute.   There is no getting around the fact that their softness, new baby smell, soft fuzzy heads, sleepy coziness calls out to everyone around them.   It creates a desire to protect, hold, and cuddle that is definitely hard to ignore.   Just introduce a new baby to a group of adults or children and soon the requests to hold and touch the baby come forth.   Even when the baby is fussy, people are quick to offer to take baby out of mom’s arms in their offer to provide relief for mom. But, you will notice that I am not one of those people.   I won’t ask to hold your baby. When I am explaining my role as a doula, I often get one of two comments.   The first usually comes from the older generations exclaiming how they wished there were doulas available for them when they had their babies.   The other comment I get is how nice it would be to hold babies all the time.   They are...