The “Perfect Perfect
Birth”
Last week
our home invited a couple kids over for the evening, so their parents could get
a much needed break. My daughter was
enthralled with the process of planning the perfect playdate. She said that she wanted to plan the “perfect
perfect party”. She composed a song to sing
to them upon their arrival. She arranged the toys in the basement so we could
have a dance party. She was telling her brothers exactly what they were
supposed to do when the friends arrived.
Every detail was attended to.
It would
have been the “perfect perfect party” if it had been for another 6 year old
girl who loved music and dancing. Unfortunately,
our guests were a 3 year old boy and a 1 year old girl. Both who had interests and abilities
different from my daughter. I tried to
let her know that her plans probably wouldn’t work, because it wasn’t the best
fit for our guests. There was some
disappointment and frustration, but once our guests arrived that left and was
replaced with the excitement of someone new to play with and care for.
As a
doula, I love the chance to help clients achieve what they consider is their “perfect
perfect birth”. Unlike my daughter
though, I am aware that what might be the perfect birth for me might not be the
perfect birth for my client. It is my
job to listen to their birth goals and provide them with information and
support to help them achieve these goals.
In fact, the benefits
of doula support are many, but having a doula doesn’t always guarantee that
you will have the perfect birth either.
Babies
have their own ideas of how they want to be born. Care providers and birthing locations also
have their own ideas of what is a perfect birth. As doulas, we have to be flexible and know
the various paths of labor and birth. We
share this knowledge with our clients so they can choose which path they can
take if a detour is needed. The creation
of a birth plan and goals is helpful in getting everyone on the same page of
the couples’ goals.
Does this
mean that birth never goes to plan? Not necessarily. I will say though that the most positive
birth experiences are when parents are well informed about their options along
the way, and able to feel like they made the right choices for them and their baby. As a doula, that is all I can ask for, and
for me that is a “perfect perfect birth”.
Comments
Post a Comment